MY THEORY ON PARTICIPLES

I have a theory about movie titles.  Moviemakers and screenwriters should avoid participles.  Viewers should avoid Saving Silverman, Stealing Harvard, Serving Sara.  What is it about that tell-tale "ing" that promises a cinematic night of clichés, lame premises, and contrived plotting (think Saving Private Ryan)?  But let's not blame that "ing," which is useless, orphaned even, on its own.  And "ing," as it appears in gerunds, is acceptable.  Swimming Pool, The Killing Fields, The Unbearable Lightness of Being.  But there is something irritating about the use of participles in movie titles; something about its existence as a verbal adjective, sharing the characteristics of both a verb and an adjective, as if it were an android assuming the powers of both Superman and Aquaman.  Some people will read this and respond, "You know nothing, sir!" (They'll spit on me accidentally as they say this).  "What about Waking Ned Devine?  Irish movie, can't go wrong.  What about Raising Arizona?  Coen Brothers; top-drawer stuff.  Sit down, now!"  You forget Finding Nemo, I would respond, and then decide on the best response to this hostile query.  The best counter-argument I could find, after rummaging in that mental drawer of ideas and gray matter, is this one.  Would The Lord of the Rings movie trilogy sound as impressive entitled Fighting Sauron?  Tolkien would never have had it!  Would Seinfeld have been as impressively funny and clever with the name Doing Nothing or Feeding Kramer?  How about Finding Simians for Planet of the Apes?  My critics should sit down and write long letters of apology entitled "Knowing Ignorance."

Comments

[The Editor]

Jeez, I forgot that one. All the entertainment you need is at Rotten Tomatoes, where it gets a 33% rating, which seems rather generous:

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/BringingDowntheHouse-1120902/

[The Editor]

"Debbie Doing Dallas" sounds like a Never-Ending Story...for adults. Die Unendliche Geschichte, as it is known in Germany, should have featured a cheerleader who needed a new name in order for the wonderful land of Fantasia to be saved...and a new set of pom-poms. Can the young warrior Atreyu save her?

[Ron]

The best movie ever made used an active verb. We all know it as "Debbie Does Dallas." It's active, it means something, it's alive!!! How bad a name would it be if it was called "Debbie Doing Dallas"?