Genghis Khan was a Health Care Reformer (and other Observations)

29 janvier 2004

J'aime le Francais

SAY WHAT YOU WILL ABOUT THE FRENCH © Paul Morris Say what you will about the French, but I love each and every last one of them. The minute I crossed the Pyrenees by train -I am not so intrepid that I would cross them by foot- the cultural encounter I...

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26 janvier 2004

FUNAMBULUS: EDITORIAL STAFF 2004

Funambulus' dedicated editorial staff, outside of our offices in Pondicherry (India). Cecil Mahaliburbam (far right) has done some work for CNN and Reuters; we are lucky to have him working for us. We are looking to hire more women to be on our staff;...

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23 janvier 2004

THE COATI: PART TWO © Paul Morris Plusquellec

THE COATI: PART TWO © Paul Morris Plusquellec laughed. He especially liked the lithograph depicting Fang-pi leaning over his millet field, rump pointed towards the sky. The artist had been quite skilled. He turned to show the story to Ebbe. The Finnmarker...

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23 janvier 2004

THE COATI © Paul Morris Plusquellec and Ebbe

THE COATI © Paul Morris Plusquellec and Ebbe wanted to thank the stomach bug that had felled the mighty Terkourafi this morning. A grim buyer of antiques and curios and former train robber, Sosthenes Terkourafi would have done his utmost to make sure...

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22 janvier 2004

POLLIWIG'S ADVICE: II (The Etiquette of Validating Security Information)

Never try to be cute when a bank or a company asks you for your mother's maiden name. Attempting to be colorful will only waste time and cause the representative of said company to be less willing to assist you.

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21 janvier 2004

© THE SERUM OF DOCTOR BURCHARDAn Exercise in

© THE SERUM OF DOCTOR BURCHARDAn Exercise in Prefixes and Suffixes: PART TWO The Mafioso laughed again. "Prepare yourself for the biggest headache you're ever going to experience," he sneered. "I'm gonna blow your brains out." "That's fine," Dr. Burchard...

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20 janvier 2004

© THE SERUM OF DOCTOR BURCHARDAn Exercise in

© THE SERUM OF DOCTOR BURCHARDAn Exercise in Prefixes and Suffixes "There, I've disconnected the phone line. Now you can't call the police or misunderstand my intentions," the large Mafioso said evilly, as he yanked the chord from the wall and began to...

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19 janvier 2004

THE WORST PICTURE IN THE WORLD © Paul Morris

THE WORST PICTURE IN THE WORLD © Paul Morris Anyone who has opened a package of newly developed pictures, warm to the touch after their exposure and pulverization by the joyless machines at the local drug store, will expect to find rejects among his little...

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19 janvier 2004

WHY I DON'T CARE ABOUT UFOS, ONE WAY OR ANOTHER ©

WHY I DON'T CARE ABOUT UFOS, ONE WAY OR ANOTHER © Paul Morris As a self-appointed deflator of myths, I'd like to tackle the question of UFOs. Actually, let me say now that I think UFOs may exist, but one way or another, I could care less. If all of mankind...

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16 janvier 2004

POLLIWIG'S ADVICE: I

Visiting dignitaries on your left, spinach dip on your right.

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15 janvier 2004

SQUABBLE IN THE SUBARCTIC: A Detective Storiette

Inspector Marius Ovesen of Troms' provincial police force had been called to a lonely cabin on the shores of the Norwegian Sea. A body, completely frozen, had been found slumped over a kitchen table. The man's identity had been easy enough to determine;...

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14 janvier 2004

So much has been said about Jorge "Doble Uve"

So much has been said about Jorge "Doble Uve" Arbusto already, that it would be a waste of computer code to comment further on his policies. A picture is worth a thousand subpoenas (subpoenae?).

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14 janvier 2004

Wouldn't movies be something altogether different

Wouldn't movies be something altogether different with a new title? Imagine if "12 Angry Men" (1957) were called... FOREMAN: "So we have to decide guilty or not guilty." (pause) FOREMAN: "Excuse me, can you all sit down please? Please? No? Oh, all right,...

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9 janvier 2004

CLAUDETTE GOES © Paul Morris Claudette goes. Not "goes" as when her school companions, fellows of Phallus, push each other into the lavatories and joke, "You can't do that here!" when one person or the other begins to micturate. "Goes" in the sense of...

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5 janvier 2004

The results of my 2001 expedition to the Island

The results of my 2001 expedition to the Island of Propania, drawn up as a cartoon, for reasons unexplained.

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3 janvier 2004

The croissant to which I was referring.

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3 janvier 2004

As I sit here picking croissant crumbs out of my

As I sit here picking croissant crumbs out of my teeth, I realize that one name is not as good as another. Would a croissant taste so sweet under the monikers Gruffenschitzen or Le Merde d´Autriche? No, certainly not. In the same vein, Ceruza, my original...

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