Articles populaires – Genghis Khan was a Health Care Reformer (and other Observations)

23 janvier 2004

THE COATI © Paul Morris Plusquellec and Ebbe

THE COATI © Paul Morris Plusquellec and Ebbe wanted to thank the stomach bug that had felled the mighty Terkourafi this morning. A grim buyer of antiques and curios and former train robber, Sosthenes Terkourafi would have done his utmost to make sure...

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6 octobre 2004

The Veeps Go Head to Command Center

It is a common fact that George W. Bush is a far easier target for humorists than the President, Codpiece Cheney, who as an insistently dreary figure in American politics, leaves no room for satirical attack. Bush is an easy target because he looks as...

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11 avril 2004

VOTE MARCEAU 2004

Anyone who has seen -but not heard- Marcel Marceau's famous "Walking Against the Wind" would realize that there is much of the political in this mimed performance. For one thing, politics is about illusion. A press secretary, dressed in quotidian business...

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19 janvier 2004

THE WORST PICTURE IN THE WORLD © Paul Morris

THE WORST PICTURE IN THE WORLD © Paul Morris Anyone who has opened a package of newly developed pictures, warm to the touch after their exposure and pulverization by the joyless machines at the local drug store, will expect to find rejects among his little...

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13 février 2004

Y algunos animales tienen nombres que indican su

Y algunos animales tienen nombres que indican su apariencia. Encontrada en Arizona, la culebra narizona tiene un hocico muy agudo. And some animals have names that indicate their appearance. Found in Arizona , the long-nosed snake has a very pointed snout....

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19 janvier 2004

WHY I DON'T CARE ABOUT UFOS, ONE WAY OR ANOTHER ©

WHY I DON'T CARE ABOUT UFOS, ONE WAY OR ANOTHER © Paul Morris As a self-appointed deflator of myths, I'd like to tackle the question of UFOs. Actually, let me say now that I think UFOs may exist, but one way or another, I could care less. If all of mankind...

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14 mars 2004

AN AUDIENCE OF ONE

Probably the most frequent visitor of FUNAMBULUS is its own exalted editor. He checks his own site almost every day, eager to read and see new material. He walks away (no, clicks away), disappointed, suddenly realizing that he, not anyone else, is the...

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15 mars 2004

OCCUPATIONS: I (The Ski-Jumper)

The Ski-Jumper A human "H" soars against a mountain, The cold logos of his uniform, The mobile phone and car companies also launched in the air, Captured by photography. He lands with a whisper of snow, A pile of seeming cocaine. The crowd applauds. The...

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11 février 2004

¡A veces los nombres de los animales tienen

¡A veces los nombres de los animales tienen significados extraños o divertidos! "Orangután" significa "hombre salvaje" en malayo; "hipopótamo" significa "caballo del río" en griego; y "dodó" significa "tonto" en portugués. Sometimes animal names have...

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27 mai 2004

OCCUPATIONS: The Doorman

The Doorman Leaning across the woman's breasts, Flapping with a newspaper like angry origami. His companion the television tube Talks back, feeding him air, light, Sports scores, cancer, news, noise. In his booth, he sneers at those Leaving an elevator,...

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20 mars 2004

NEWSFLASH!

Apparently, algebra is not calculus! The Funambulus News Desk (well, it's more of a News Stool) was informed by one Albert Einstein, a possible miscreant and chicken-teaser, that the problem posted as one of Alexandra's accomplishments is not calculus...

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15 janvier 2004

SQUABBLE IN THE SUBARCTIC: A Detective Storiette

Inspector Marius Ovesen of Troms' provincial police force had been called to a lonely cabin on the shores of the Norwegian Sea. A body, completely frozen, had been found slumped over a kitchen table. The man's identity had been easy enough to determine;...

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15 juillet 2004

OTHER NEWS: I

So much of our news is violent and brutish. I thought I'd bring you some news from the world of vexillology (that's the study of flags) so that you won't think it's all about abuse at the highest levels of executive power...but enough about the Byzantine...

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16 juillet 2004

NEW CALIFORNIA STATE FLAG

I think it's due time that Californians rid themselves of their ratty old banner and adopt a new standard to which they can pledge their allegiance. It's an ugly old thing. The star looks vaguely Stalinistic. I mean, look at it, the bear looks intoxicated,...

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13 février 2004

Y los científicos necesitan nombres para nuevos

Y los científicos necesitan nombres para nuevos animales, que se llaman "híbridos." And scientists need names for new animals, which are called "hybrids." A zeedonk / Un zeedonk Quande cruzes un caballo y una cebra, resulta en un nuevo animal que se llama...

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18 août 2004

The World's Smallest Violin

People whine and complain about nothing. They tut as they stand in line at the Post Office; they get bugged when the workers at Subway take too long to make their meatball sandwiches. They complain when they wait on hold for customer service for fifteen...

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11 février 2004

Déjame explicar lo que quiero decir: si una araña

Déjame explicar lo que quiero decir: si una araña de mar se encontrara debajo de un puente en Roma, un italiano gritaría, "¡Granzeola!" Y si lo devolverían a casa en el Japón, los japoneses lo saludarían con gritos de "¡Taka-ashi-gani!" Let me tell explain...

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11 février 2004

WHAT DO YOU CALL YOUR PRONGHORN? A Rejected

WHAT DO YOU CALL YOUR PRONGHORN? A Rejected Children's Book (in Spanish and English) ¿Si encontraras un berrendo debajo de la cama, que lo llamarías? If you found a pronghorn under your bed, what would you call it? ¡Depende de donde estaría tu cama! Cada...

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6 octobre 2004

WE'VE CHANGED NAMES!

Yes, we've changed names. But not management. The Editorial Board of Funambulus -I'm sorry, "Genghis Khan was a Health Care Reformer" or "GHWHCR"- has not yet cleared out and emptied its collective desks of its rotten peaches, hobby-horses, irony, and...

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14 octobre 2004

NANCY DREW AND THE DECAPITATED, MUTILATED BODY

No one can dispute the claim that CSI: Las Vegas is a popular show, so popular in fact that it has given rise to CSI: New York, CSI: Miami, CSI: Dakar, CSI: Boise. Network executives should never question the appeal of exposed wounds and realististic...

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6 octobre 2004

SAQs (Seldom Asked Questions)

Q: Why do you think your blog is the best thing since sliced bread? A: We don't. We think it's better than sliced bread. Q: Who are you, anyway? A: Who are any of us? Q: Do a lot of people read your blog? A: Once they receive the e-mail notifications...

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2 février 2004

But where is the editor?

There are those (okay, one person) who wonder why I do not appear in the picture of our distinguished editorial staff. Am I taking the picture? Was I sick with the grippe when it was taken? The answer is "no" to both questions. I am in the picture. You...

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15 mars 2004

SHAMELESS ATTEMPT TO ATTRACT READERS

This is Alexandra. Alexandra is a beautiful woman. Alexandra elegantly graces this web page like an ushanka warming the head of a Soviet naval officer. She's beautiful, yes, and charming, absolutely, but is she intelligent? Indomitably so. Last night,...

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6 octobre 2004

The Unpublished Works of Atzur Capsadecapells: NOW ON SALE

When Atzur Capsadecapells (Bellver, ca. 1886), Catalan poet, writer, and malcontent, hanged himself in 1928, he left behind a modest, disorganized pile of writings and half-formed scribbles. As for his artistic legacy, only a single sketch remains. I...

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15 octobre 2004

THAT'S IT! I'M MOVING TO UDMURTIA

"WASHINGTON (Reuters): US President George W. Bush opened a four-point lead on Democratic Sen. John Kerry the day after the final debate between the White House rivals, according to a Reuters/Zogby poll released on Friday. Bush led Kerry 48-44 percent...

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