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Genghis Khan was a Health Care Reformer (and other Observations)
Publicité
26 janvier 2004

FUNAMBULUS: EDITORIAL STAFF 2004

FUNAMBULUS: EDITORIAL STAFF 2004
Funambulus' dedicated editorial staff, outside of our offices in Pondicherry (India). Cecil Mahaliburbam (far right) has done some work for CNN and Reuters; we are lucky to have him working for us. We are looking to hire more women to be on our staff;...
Publicité
11 mai 2004

MY THEORY ON PARTICIPLES: PART II

MY THEORY ON PARTICIPLES: PART II
No one listens in Hollywood . I rant and rave on my blog I mean, "website" which is serviced by the French, and still the big studio executives come up with: There they go, using a participle in a movie title. Yes, she's hot. Yes, when a bus bearing her...
24 septembre 2004

Dealing with Favoritism at Work: Some Tips from Polliwig

Dealing with Favoritism at Work: Some Tips from Polliwig
PROFESSOR POLLIWIG 1) Move at the speed of darkness, like the person who is currently getting away with murder. 2) Do not commit murder (that will keep your record clean, and allow you to move up in the future if the person benefiting from favoritism...
24 juin 2004

DISCOVERY UNDER THE ICE!

DISCOVERY UNDER THE ICE!
I apologize for turning Funambulus into a monthly instead of its intended status as a hebdomedary (not a type of camel). There is no web access in the frozen wastes of Antarctica, where I have been conducting research on an ancient civilization that extended...
6 juillet 2004

THE SACREDNESS OF PENGUINS

THE SACREDNESS OF PENGUINS
Much like cats in Egyptian culture and cows in Hinduism, the penguin was a sacred animal for people of the Ice Shelf Culture. The na-bu-ú was seen as a living representative of the storm god Ashu-u, and was believed to have been rendered flightless by...
Publicité
27 septembre 2004

THE MASTER DEBATER

THE MASTER DEBATER
By all accounts and by all standards, John Kerry won the first presidential debate last night, his voice thundering across the lectern and into the hearts of undecided voters, putting to shame Bush's speechwriters, who can be faulted for inserting awkward...
13 février 2004

WHAT DO YOU CALL YOUR PRONGHORN? A Rejected

WHAT DO YOU CALL YOUR PRONGHORN? A Rejected Children's Book (in Spanish and English) (CONTINUED) Así que un pavo es cathartes aura . El zopilote o noneca, que vive en América Central, es cathartes burroviana . Así sabemos que los dos pájaros son de la...
20 janvier 2004

© THE SERUM OF DOCTOR BURCHARDAn Exercise in

© THE SERUM OF DOCTOR BURCHARDAn Exercise in Prefixes and Suffixes "There, I've disconnected the phone line. Now you can't call the police or misunderstand my intentions," the large Mafioso said evilly, as he yanked the chord from the wall and began to...
9 janvier 2004

CLAUDETTE GOES © Paul Morris Claudette goes. Not

CLAUDETTE GOES © Paul Morris Claudette goes. Not "goes" as when her school companions, fellows of Phallus, push each other into the lavatories and joke, "You can't do that here!" when one person or the other begins to micturate. "Goes" in the sense of...
29 janvier 2004

J'aime le Francais

SAY WHAT YOU WILL ABOUT THE FRENCH © Paul Morris Say what you will about the French, but I love each and every last one of them. The minute I crossed the Pyrenees by train -I am not so intrepid that I would cross them by foot- the cultural encounter I...
23 janvier 2004

THE COATI: PART TWO © Paul Morris Plusquellec

THE COATI: PART TWO © Paul Morris Plusquellec laughed. He especially liked the lithograph depicting Fang-pi leaning over his millet field, rump pointed towards the sky. The artist had been quite skilled. He turned to show the story to Ebbe. The Finnmarker...
21 janvier 2004

© THE SERUM OF DOCTOR BURCHARDAn Exercise in

© THE SERUM OF DOCTOR BURCHARDAn Exercise in Prefixes and Suffixes: PART TWO The Mafioso laughed again. "Prepare yourself for the biggest headache you're ever going to experience," he sneered. "I'm gonna blow your brains out." "That's fine," Dr. Burchard...
3 janvier 2004

As I sit here picking croissant crumbs out of my

As I sit here picking croissant crumbs out of my teeth, I realize that one name is not as good as another. Would a croissant taste so sweet under the monikers Gruffenschitzen or Le Merde d´Autriche? No, certainly not. In the same vein, Ceruza, my original...
27 avril 2004

OCCUPATIONS: The Lecturer

The Lecturer His feet slap the foyer- Ambitious tickles across The campus floor. Greet, salute the secular pyx as you Step into the Common Room, Insulated on all sides By cork announcement boards. Come! Meet! Conspire: "Third Annual Conference on Some...
13 février 2004

Así que asegurase que te acuerdes de todo lo que

Así que asegurase que te acuerdes de todo lo que yo he dicho sobre los nombres de los animales, y tal vez si te encontraras con un berrendo, ya sabrás como llamarlo... So be sure to remember all that I've said about animal names, and maybe if you find...
12 avril 2004

MY THEORY ON PARTICIPLES

I have a theory about movie titles. Moviemakers and screenwriters should avoid participles. Viewers should avoid Saving Silverman, Stealing Harvard, Serving Sara. What is it about that tell-tale "ing" that promises a cinematic night of clichés, lame premises,...
14 janvier 2004

Wouldn't movies be something altogether different

Wouldn't movies be something altogether different
Wouldn't movies be something altogether different with a new title? Imagine if "12 Angry Men" (1957) were called... FOREMAN: "So we have to decide guilty or not guilty." (pause) FOREMAN: "Excuse me, can you all sit down please? Please? No? Oh, all right,...
22 janvier 2004

POLLIWIG'S ADVICE: II (The Etiquette of Validating Security Information)

POLLIWIG'S ADVICE: II (The Etiquette of Validating Security Information)
Never try to be cute when a bank or a company asks you for your mother's maiden name. Attempting to be colorful will only waste time and cause the representative of said company to be less willing to assist you.
3 janvier 2004

The croissant to which I was referring.

The croissant to which I was referring.
The croissant to which I was referring.
18 février 2004

POLLIWIG'S ADVICE: V (Donations)

POLLIWIG'S ADVICE: V (Donations)
Do not give money to PBS. They have been threatening to shut down their programming for years if they do not receive funds from "viewers like you." Call their bluff.
14 janvier 2004

So much has been said about Jorge "Doble Uve"

So much has been said about Jorge "Doble Uve"
So much has been said about Jorge "Doble Uve" Arbusto already, that it would be a waste of computer code to comment further on his policies. A picture is worth a thousand subpoenas (subpoenae?).
6 février 2004

POLLIWIG'S ADVICE: IV (Farting)

POLLIWIG'S ADVICE: IV (Farting)
It is perfectly appropriate to fart while sitting in a wicker chair, never while sitting in a cotton-padded one.
31 mars 2004

Recommended Links!

Recommended Links!
For dry, politically astute humor, I'd recommend the famous M. Bauer Blog, found at: http://www.chairmanbau.blogspot.com/ For the writings of the great Brazilian humorist and poet, Henrique Rodrigues Pinto, see: http://www.fullbag.blogger.com.br/
4 novembre 2004

GEORGE BUSH WINS (MERDE!)

GEORGE BUSH WINS (MERDE!)
Goddamn it.
16 janvier 2004

POLLIWIG'S ADVICE: I

POLLIWIG'S ADVICE: I
Visiting dignitaries on your left, spinach dip on your right.
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